As a little girl my view of marriage was idealized. My parents and family did their best to portray happiness even when things we're bad. I was also raised with fairy tales of the princess marrying the prince and living happily ever after....
Yep - you guessed it - It was a rude awaking!
I married a man who, like all of us, came from a dysfunctional home. His parents divorced and it left it's mark on he and his brothers. He was also raised in a very, very strict Seventh Day Adventist home. His childhood left scars that I am dealing with today.
My husband is an alcoholic. Plain and simple. He's not the abusive type -or I would have been gone. He loves being social and drinking as much as he can as quickly as he can. He used to work as a bouncer in a lot of the trendy spots and knows a lot of the bartenders. This means free drinks for him. I cannot begin to tell you how many nights I have spent exactly like this - waiting to see when he will drag himself through the door.
I have tried to be the supportive wife - understanding - offering his any support he needs if he would only get help - hmmmm - still waiting. He doesn't do this all the time - he goes on benders. he'll be straight as as arrow for a month or two - then the itch starts and he's got a week or two of late nights and alcohol.
I have chosen to live this way because it was simpler than trying to raise 3 kids by myself. My children are now older -my youngest is 16- and I can't deal with this immature behavior anymore. This last bender he has been on is lasting for quite a while. I am beginning to believe that he is cheating and I trust my instincts. It's time to make some tough decisions - after 23 years of marriage do I really still want to live with a man who refuses to grow up?
So until I make a decision I will sit and wait in vain for him to become a man.
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